The Art of the Flirt

Do you remember when you were in grade school and you had a crush on that special someone? Everyday at school was so exciting because it was the only time you got to see that special someone and if you had the courage, you would say hi or pass a note. Every time you pass by them you got this sense of butterflies or adrenaline rushing through you and you couldn't wait for it to happen again.

Then you got older and maybe you started dating. The thrill of date nights...finding the perfect outfit, breath mints, and holding hands. Maybe a kiss. You were smitten, head over heels for this individual and probably wrote your name with his last name because you just knew that you would be Mrs. Soandso one day. That happens up til the one day they pop the question and you get hitched! Yay! Congratulations!

Fast forward a few years later (perhaps even with kids now) and all you have time for is work, PTA, and kid related activities. By the time you get home, you can barley cook dinner, kiss good night and knock out just to do the same thing all over again the next day. All of a sudden you're wondering where the romance factor went. Do they like this shirt on me anymore, is my hair ok, do they even pay me any attention anymore? Date night? What the hell is that? We lose that flight feeling of excitement and butterflies. We need something to make us feel like those "love at first sight" days again, but what?

We need to re-introduce flirting. I am definitely not suggesting flirting with anyone outside of your relationship unless you guys are into that. I am talking about flirting with your signifiant other, even if you've been married for 20 years. Relationships take work so why not make it fun and exciting?

Start off by thinking about how you two initiated flirting when you first met. What type of dates did you go on? How can you elevate those dates? What could you say or do to get them blushing? If you have trouble, then think about the 5 senses.

1. Touch

How does your partner like to be touched? Do they like holding hands, front hugs or hugs from behind? Do they enjoy massages or sensual touches. Would it make them giggle if you played footsies?

2. Sight

Does your partner pay attention to looks? Do they give compliments? Can you give them a compliment on their appearance? Go sight-seeing to some of the places you use to go on dates to back in the day.

3. Taste

There are hundreds of aphrodisiacs these days that come in natural forms as well as supplement form. Make sure your partner is aware (don't roofie your partner with supplements or anything). What are your favorite things to eat together? Try sensory eating.

4. Smell

There is aromatherapy like candles, diffusers, sprays, or simply perfume. Maybe you use to wear a scent that drove them crazy for you. The familiar smell will help trigger memories and inspire them to engage. You could also try scents like cinnamon, chocolate, lavender, vanilla, and cedar wood to spark interest.

5. Hear

Maybe you could simply just use your words. Sweet words, poetic words,...dirty words...whatever they like. Use the positive and funny inside jokes you share.

6. Knowing

You should know your partner enough to be able to get their attention. If you are interested in trying something new then all you have to do is try. You can ask or you can just implement it appropriately.

Flirt like teenagers. Have fun and explore with one another. Flirting can be really fun so if you can do it with the person you love then it should be that much more interesting. It enhances your bond with one another. It's healthy and could boost endorphins which relieve stress.

Sometimes it's the smallest things that can make a difference. When I met my husband, I suffered from migraines and after a long day, he would give me scalp massages that melt away my migraines. Til this day, there is no Excedrin or Tylenol that can compare. It's simply just knowing your partner.

Take the time and do the work! You won't regret it and you probably need it!

In the words of Ellen Degeneres, "Be kind to one another"

With Love,

Micole Elise