Love Love

When I was teenager, my grandfather told me a quote that I have always kept with me. "Love love, and love don't get old". If I could fall in love with the idea of love, then love never dies. This is how I've interpreted his quote. I've always been a hopeless romantic and loved the feeling of being in love. But what happens when the honeymoon phase wears off? Love becomes work and a lot harder. Tiring even. When your heart gets broken too many times, love does get old. And when it started to feel like this, I would remember that I should still love love.

No matter the type of relationship, this applies. As an adult, I have learned that it is not just about romantic relationships. It's really about learning to love unconditionally and remembering the things that you love about each person in your life. If you can remember those things, then love will never get old. Love will start to feel refreshing in a new way, and you will learn to enjoy the moments.

Too many people walk around wallowing in self-pity and envy from not having a significant other to celebrate Valentine's Day or disappointed that their lover didn't meet their V-day expectations. Why let one holiday dictate how you feel about someone you care about? And even though I love a Galentines celebration, it still carries the feeling of "no one loves me this year, so I need to find other singles who are in the same boat". For some it can be empowering and the acceptance of being single but what about self love?

Of course I made cards and sweet treats for my family but I have never celebrated myself on Valentine's Day! Let's be honest, you are the only person who knows what you like or want. Treat yourself! Buy yourself your favorite candy, and flowers, and a new pair of shoes or whatever it is that will get you excited. Hell, get yourself a card saying how much you love you! You are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life so you'd better learn how to love yourself! If you love yourself unconditionally then love will never get old nor will you ever need validation from anyone else. It's not selfish. If you don't learn to love you, how can you expect someone else to or how can you determine how you want to be loved? It's just another step in learning who you are and what you want!

So I challenge you all this coming V-Day to do one or some of the following:

1. Let go of all expectations created by society.

Don't let all the "ideas of what Valentine's Day should look like" determine what yours will look like. Plan things together or go with the flow so that way if they don't provide you with what you expected there is no room for disappointment or second guessing. Use your heart of better judgement here.

2. Learn to love loved ones unconditionally and enjoy more moments.

Loving people unconditionally does not mean that you have to take whatever they dish out. It means you recognize who they are as a person and learn that there is nothing you can do about that (flaws and all). You celebrate the qualities in them that you can relate to and learn to implement more of those qualities when together. This one takes practice and I recommend doing them in small doses until you acquire a higher tolerance for these people!

3. Practice self-love

Learn how to spend time alone. One of the biggest fears that people have is sitting in a restaurant at a table alone. Fearing that everyone is judging them. Once I learned how to be ok with this, it made all the difference. No one knows your life nor is it any of their business. Be secure with yourself. Stop comparing yourself to everyone. We are all on different levels and we ALL need work. Once you become confident in who you are, then no one can tell you any different. Accepting our flaws can be so challenging but admitting that we have them simply makes us more human and one step ahead. So give yourself a kick ass daily mantra (I love Lizzo's "I'm 100% that B!tch) and go 'head wit yo' bad ass!

So darling, which challenge will you accept? I choose all 3. I still need a lot of work in each area. Perhaps it's something we can work on together! Let me know your thoughts!

With Love,

Micole Elise